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    The Merry War

    Much Ado About Nothing

    William Shakespeare

    2 characters
    ~1 min
    comedic

    Characters

    Beatrice (F)
    Sharp-witted and independent
    Benedick (M)
    A witty soldier, sworn bachelor

    Context

    Beatrice and Benedick engage in their famous battle of wits at the masked ball.

    Scene Text

    BEATRICE:

    I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick: nobody marks you.

    BENEDICK:

    What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?

    BEATRICE:

    Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence.

    BENEDICK:

    Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none.

    BEATRICE:

    A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

    BENEDICK:

    God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face.

    BEATRICE:

    Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were.

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