Disguised as Ganymede, Rosalind playfully debunks Orlando's romantic notions by pointing out that famous lovers of legend didn't actually die for love. She uses wit and humor to test Orlando's devotion.
Act 4, Scene 1. The Forest of Arden. Rosalind, banished from court, is in disguise as the young man Ganymede. Orlando, who is in love with the Rosalind he met before her banishment, has been roaming the forest pinning love poems to trees. Ganymede has proposed a cure for Orlando's lovesickness: Orlando will woo Ganymede as if Ganymede were Rosalind, and Ganymede will perform Rosalind so faithfully — including all her caprices — that Orlando will be cured of love. Orlando has agreed. They are mid-game. Orlando has just said that if Rosalind refused him, he would die. This speech is Ganymede's mocking refutation of that claim — a list of historical lovers who, contrary to romantic tradition, did not in fact die of love. Celia is on stage as silent witness, watching her cousin run rings around the man her cousin actually loves.
Rosalind is doing something delicate. She loves Orlando. She is also, in disguise, getting to know him in a way no court courtship would allow — by arguing with him, testing him, watching how he handles being teased. What she wants from him, specifically, is evidence that his love is durable rather than poetic, and the speech is a stress-test disguised as a joke. The Troilus and Leander examples are dry, scholarly, and deliberately deflationary; she is taking the high tragic register of romantic death and replacing it with a club to the head and a cramp while swimming. Underneath is real fondness — she is having a wonderful time — and a sharp pleasure in being smarter than the man she loves without him knowing who he is talking to. The speech is flirtation conducted as scepticism.
Tempo and dryness are everything. This is prose, not verse, and the prose is fast, witty, and built on the rhythm of a person enjoying their own argument. Do not perform the wit; let it be casual. Mark the structure: a general claim ("men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love"), then two specific historical counter-examples (Troilus, Leander), then the deflationary conclusion ("these are all lies"). Each step should feel like Ganymede thinking it up in the moment, not reciting a prepared takedown. The Troilus example — "Troilus had his brains dash'd out with a Grecian club" — should be delivered drily, almost as throwaway, because the humour is in the contrast with what Orlando expected. The Leander passage is longer; let it build into the comic image of a hot midsummer night and a cramp in the Hellespont. The button — "Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love" — is the return to the opening claim with the argument now proven. Direct it to Orlando. Watch him land. Do not break to Celia for laughs; she is the audience inside the scene, but Rosalind is playing to the man in front of her.
A strong comic prose Shakespeare for women, particularly useful as a contrast piece because so many female Shakespeare audition pieces are verse. It shows comic timing, intellectual register, the capacity to play disguise as a real act rather than a wink, and command of long prose sentences — all rarer in the audition room than verse handling. Excellent for MFA programs, classical company generals, and screen-comedy castings where they want to see if you are quick. Moderately used but not saturated, and consistently distinguishes the actor who plays the argument from the actor who plays the charm. Works best for actors who read smart and dry. Avoid it if you cannot resist the temptation to be cute or to mug at the audience; the speech depends on Rosalind playing Orlando, not the house. Also avoid if your audition material already includes another comic prose selection.
No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is
almost six thousand years old, and in all this time
there was not any man died in his own person,
videlicet, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains
dashed out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he
could to die before, and he is one of the patterns
of love. Leander, he would have lived many a fair
year, though Hero had turned nun, if it had not been
for a hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went
but forth to wash him in the Hellespont and being
taken with the cramp was drowned and the foolish
coroners of that age found it was 'Hero of Sestos.'
But these are all lies: men have died from time to
time and worms have eaten them, but not for love.